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The Lighter Side (Jan 2010)

CREATIVE PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS

  1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.  He
    acquired his size from too much pi.
  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to
    be an optical Aleutian.
  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
    weapon of math disruption.
  5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his
    work.
  6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
  7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
    Blownapart.
  9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
    other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
  13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  14. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
  15. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
    veteran.
  17. A backward poet writes inverse.
  18. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.