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The Lighter Side (Nov 2009)

November 19, 2009
The Perfect Job
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned…couldn't concentrate

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it.

Then I tried to be a chef -- figuring it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was too draining.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but just couldn't fit in.

So then I got a job in a gym, but they said that I wasn't fit for the job.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I could not live on my net income.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but that was always the same old grind.

So I retired and found that I'm perfect for the job!
A Visit to the Doctor
Harry walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles". So she wrote down his name, address, and medical insurance information and asked him to have a seat.

Ten minutes later an aid came out and asked Harry what he had. He said, "Shingles". So she wrote down his height, weight and complete medical history and took him to exam room 3.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse came in and asked Harry what he had. He said, "Shingles". So the nurse took his blood pressure, drew blood, and told him to strip to his underwear and sit on the exam table.

Twenty minutes later the doctor entered the room, picked up the chart and asked Harry what he had. He said, "Shingles". The doctor asked, "Where"?

Harry said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em?"
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