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The Lighter Side (Nov 2021)

November 30, 2021
Memorable office holiday parties
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon asked people to submit their worst Christmas office party stories. Here’s what people sent in:
– I stayed sober to avoid embarrassing myself in front of my coworkers. Then my heel broke, and I fell into the punch bowl.
– My boss ordered two pizzas for 15 employees, then ate one all by herself.
– I did a Secret Santa gift exchange; mine got me a can of creamed corn.
Employees who made their office Christmas parties memorable:
– The man who tried to photocopy his rear end, only to smash the glass and end up in the hospital.
– The manager who took his staff out for a three-course Christmas meal and “had an emergency” when dessert arrived, leaving his team with the bill.
– The poor soul who fell asleep on the toilet at a restaurant and woke up to find that the entire place was empty and he was locked in.
"There was this quiet, old janitor that worked our office building who was scheduled to retire on Christmas, so our Christmas party kind of included his farewell; we gave gifts to each other, put up a Christmas tree, people brought cakes and pastries, Christmas stuff. Then here comes the old janitor and he leaves a fairly big bag of presents under the tree; we're all kind of surprised because no one seemed to interact with him that much, but nonetheless we thank him and wish him the best and stuff, then he leaves and presumably sets off to the Midwest. The next day, we open the presents, including his. Turns out, the retiring janitor gave everyone in the office a little bottle of sulfuric acid. Everybody got one, even me, I still have it. We don't know where he got them or how much they cost, but apparently, he didn’t like us."
"A place that I worked at about eight years ago had a huge party. One of the managers brought brownies and the director of operations (let's call him Jack) was the first to try them as we were setting up the food table.  About half an hour later, as we were finishing up, Jack starts giggling and talking about how tall he feels. The guy who brought the brownies grabbed the wrong plate as he left the house and accidentally brought pot brownies.  Needless to say, we gathered as many of the stoners as we could to clear that plate before anyone else got to them and tried to keep Jack away from other management." 
"I had my interview for my current job the day after the office party. The whole office smelled of tequila. Two-thirds of the office didn't make it in. And those that did interview me thought I was already hired and were training me.  Suffice to say, I took the job."
"Two days before my first work Christmas party, a memo came out saying if you were arrested the company would not bail you out of jail.  A year before, several people were arrested outside the Christmas party. The CEO had to bail them all out of jail."
"After rolling into the office the morning following my company holiday party, I received the company-wide email blast providing a link to the photo booth gallery.  After scrolling through several hours of tame photos, I discovered a series of 25 pictures showing my boss in a progressing state of undress while hooking up with a colleague from a different department. The gallery was removed from public access within the hour."
Sources: Adapted from The Business Insider and others

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