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The Lighter Side (Oct 2011)

October 26, 2011

INTELLIGENCE TEST (Answers at bottom. No peeking!)

1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop. He is five feet ten inches tall and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

5. What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?

6. Billy was born on December 28, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is it possible?

7. What was the President’s name in 1975?

8. If you were running a race and you passed the person in second place what place would you be in now?

9. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?

10. If a farmer has five haystacks in one field and four haystacks in the other, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?


 

A SMALL CHANGE CAN MEAN A LOT

A contest (Washington Post – Mensa) was held that invited participants to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some of the winners.

Cashtration: The act of buying a house which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money in the first place.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Beelzebug: a satanic-like mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in your apple.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who just doesn’t get it.

Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day by consuming only things that are good for you.

Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
 

 

ANSWERS:

  1. Johnny
  2. Meat
  3. Mt. Everest
  4. None
  5. Incorrectly
  6. He lives in the Southern Hemisphere.
  7. Barack Obama
  8. Second
  9. Neither, yolks are yellow.
  10. One
 
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