A Tale from a Vienna GraveyardChris, a tourist in Vienna, is going past Vienna's Zentralfriedhof graveyard on October 31st. All of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. Chris finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades his friend Tim, to return with him.
By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.
Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.
"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!"
Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 73. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects at his funeral, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. Captain Crunch sent his apologies. The gravesite was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy in the graveyard and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who did not realize how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very 'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, even as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Playa Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they have one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Why Oh Why?Albert Hammond was visiting the cemetery near Hamble in England and he couldn't help noticing a man kneeling in front of a gravestone, clasping his hands and sobbing. Albert went a bit closer and could hear what the man was saying. 'Why did you have to die?' he was repeating, 'Why did you have to die?'
Feeling he ought to do something to alleviate the man's obvious distress Albert laid his hand on his shoulder saying gently, 'Was it someone you loved very much?'
The man looked up at him and said, 'No, I never met him, he was my wife's first husband.'