1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
3. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
4. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."
5. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
6. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
7. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
8. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
9. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
10. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him . . . a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.